Sex and intimacy are two different concepts, no matter how much we’ve been tricked into believing that they’re the same. If you’re feeling a disconnect with your partner regardless of how often you have sex, then you may have a problem. Try these tips to bond better with each other, and get that spark back.
Wine and dine in bed: If there’s one thing we know for sure that hits you after sex, its hunger. But instead of ordering the same old pizza, we suggest you use the time (and the hunger) for a bonding session. Get yourself and your partner a glass of wine, and a platter of cheese. The antioxidants in the wine will increase your blood flow and relax both of you, thereby increasing the flow of conversation too.
Combine the post-coital shower with a massage: Your body releases oxytocin and prolactin during climax, which are also known as the bonding hormones. These are also released upon touch, and are basically responsible for that warm fuzzy high you feel after sex. Add on to the feeling by giving your partner a massage before a shower, or even better, help him take a shower. This will definitely help in making you two feel closer to each other.
Keep connected: Not all of us want to spoon immediately after sex. Sometimes, you want a little space to breathe after what has hopefully been similar to a heavy workout session. But instead of rolling on to your side and completely distancing your partner, just drape a leg over his. This way you get a little space for yourself, and you don’t even feel instantly disconnected from your partner.
Turn off that phone: To be honest, this one should be done before sex, to experience its pleasant effects in your post-coital bliss. Turn off everything—your phone, your laptop, the TV, all of it. Why anyone would rather check their phone immediately after sex than spend time talking to each other is beyond us.
If you got it off, help getting it on again: Removing clothing before sex is always a two-person job, so why shouldn’t putting it back on be the same? There’s something surprisingly intimate about dressing your partner, and if you haven’t done it yet, we suggest you should definitely give it a shot.