You have heard about ghosting and breadcrumbing. But did you know of ‘cushioning’? To the uninitiated, ‘cushioning’ is set to be one of the most obnoxious dating trends of 2017. To put it simply, ‘cushioning’ is flirting with multiple people simultaneously even when one is in a long-term relationship. But the defining characteristic of this practice is that one indulges in ‘cushioning’ only to keep romantic options open – in other words, if your main relationship, Option A, fails, you can always fall back on Option B or Option C, and so on and so forth. Apparently, the rise in online dating sites, which give you a plethora of dating options, is complicating matters further. So, if you or your partner or both are guilty of ‘cushioning’, here are some points of introspection:
Are you insecure?
If any one of the partners is ‘cushioning’, it can mean that he or she is suffering from a host of relationship insecurities or anxieties. What are the underlying causes of such insecurities? Make an attempt to find these out.
If one is leading a number of potential paramours on, this certainly amounts to cheating all people involved. Needless to say, this raises ethical issues and if the truth is found out, there can be terrible consequences. One should therefore first ask oneself, why he/she should want to cheat in the first place?
Can’t avoid flirting
One can be an inveterate flirt, so ‘cushioning’ would come naturally to such a person. In that case, one should ask oneself whether he/she would be able to make a monogamous relationship work at all. Or why should one fall for a person for whom loyalty is not a priority?
If you or your partner is ‘cushioning’, then none of you is ready to give your relationship single-minded attention. It shows that one is averse to giving his or her all to the relationship.
Try to focus
If one has committed himself or herself to a relationship, it will only be fair that he/she puts all energy in making it work. Even if one is dumped, one shouldn’t use unsuspecting people for soft landing. One should give oneself enough time to heal after a breakup and then start dating afresh.